Comments on Birthday Wishes from the Cloud

This day is special for Bobby Stallone

A guy, who lives in the northern time zone;

I better call him now on telephone;

Sing him a song with melodious tone

From my country home, outside Montreal

And wait eagerly for the first snow fall;

To give him gifts I purchased in the mall,

To match his tattoos, wrinkles, warts and all;

Yet brushing off hardships I have carried;

And my commitments to kids so candid;

And yet, heaps of sugar-ants dominate

The icing, which keeps dripping off the plate;

Happy birthday to you my handsome mate;

From the cloud, I wish for you all things great.

The motivation to create the Hendianne sonnet came as a result of the interest shown by my husband and my youngest sister, Anne in my poetry; both them have since passed on. The tribute paid to them is shown by way of naming the sonnet the “Hendianne”. There are two methods being used in the creation of this 21^st Century sonnet.

1)         Use rhyming couples within a rhyme scheme aa aabbbb ccdd dd as follows:

An opening couplet. This introduces the theme or problem

                       

At the end of the opening couplet use sexain which is three couplets.  The sexain is where the theme or problem is developed.

At the end of the sexain use a quatrain which is two couplets, this signals a change in the speaker’s tone, mood or stance of the poem; this pivot, turn or shift is referred to as the “volta” in classical sonnets and is easily recognized by such initial words as “but”, “yet” or “and yet”;

Now, complete the Hendianne sonnet with a rhyming couplet. This ending couplet or “coda” provides a logical resolution to the problem.

           

           

2)         Another method of creating the Hendianne sonnet pattern is as follows:

Begin with the opening triplet (three verses). This introduces the theme or problem;

At the end of the opening triplet use a sexain which is three couplets. The sexain is where the theme or problem is developed;

At the end of the sexain use a triplet, this is where the speaker’s tone, mood or stance of the poem changes. This is the pivotal moment in the sonnet;

Now, complete the Hendianne sonnet with a rhyming couplet. This ending couplet or “coda” provides a logical resolution to the problem.

            The rhyme scheme for this method is somewhat flexible, but with only two requirements that the second verse in the opening triplet must rhyme with first verse of the sexain; and the ending couplet must rhyme. The poem, "Errol Barrow Day" uses method 2, so check it out. 

“Birthday Wishes from the Cloud” is structured around seven rhyming couplets partitioned as follows; opening couplet, sexain (three couplets), quatrain (two couplets) and closing couplet in iambic pentameter within a rhyme scheme aaaabbbbccdddd.

The sonnets of Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Milton, Keats, Spenserian and Petrarchan brands have influenced greatly the creation of this highly structured sonnet dubbed the “Hendianne”.  Tables 1 and 2 show exemplars used to compare the structural variants among the different types of English Language sonnets from past centuries to the present.

 Table 1

Exemplars

Birthday Wishes from the Cloud This day is special for Bobby Stallone A guy, who lives in the northern time zone; I better call him now on telephone; Sing him a song with melodious tone From my country home, outside Montreal And wait eagerly for the first snow fall; To give him gifts I purchased in the mall, To match his tattoos, wrinkles, warts and all; Yet brushing off hardships I have carried; And my commitments to kids so candid; And yet, heaps of sugar-ants dominate The icing, which keeps dripping off the plate; Happy birthday to you my handsome mate; From the cloud, I wish for you all things great. Petrarchan Sonnet 159 In what bright realm, what sphere of radiant thought Did Nature find the model whence she drew That delicate dazzling image where we view Here on this earth what she in heaven wrought? What fountain-haunting nymph, what dryad, sought In groves, such golden tresses ever threw Upon the gust? What heart such virtues knew?— Though her chief virtue with my death is frought. He looks in vain for heavenly beauty, he Who never looked upon her perfect eyes, The vivid blue orbs turning brilliantly – He does not know how Love yields and denies; He only knows, who knows how sweetly she Can talk and laugh, the sweetness of her sighs. One day I wrote her name upon the strand (Spenserian Sonnet) One day I wrote her name upon the strand, But came the waves and washed it away: Again I wrote it with a second hand, But came the tide and made my pains his prey. Vain man (said she), that dost in vain assay A mortal thing so to immortalize; For I myself shall like to this decay, And eke my name be wiped out likewise. Not so (quod I); let baser things devise To die in dust, but you shall live by fame; My verse your virtues rare shall eternize, And in the heavens write your glorious name: Where, when as death shall all the world subdue, Our love shall live, and later life renew.

Miltonic Sonnet 19 When I consider how my light is spent, E're half my days, in this dark world and wide, And that one Talent which is death to hide, Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bent To serve therewith my Maker, and present  My true account, least he returning chide, Doth God exact day labour, light deny'd, I fondly ask; But patience to prevent That murmur, soon replies, God doth not need Either man's work or his own gifts, who best  Bear his milde yoak, they serve him best, his State Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed And post o're Land and Ocean without rest: They also serve who only stand and waite. Shakespearean Sonnet 1 FROM fairest creatures we desire increase, That thereby beauty's rose might never die, But as the riper should by time decease, His tender heir might bear his memory: But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, Feed'st thy light'st flame with self-substantial fuel, Making a famine where abundance lies, Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel. Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament And only herald to the gaudy spring, Within thine own bud buriest thy content And, tender churl, makest waste in niggarding. Pity the world, or else this glutton be, To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee. Sonnet XXVI – To Sleep (Wordsworth) A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by, One after one; the sound of rain, and bees Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas, Smooth fields, white sheets of water and pure sky, By turns have all been thought of, yet I lie Sleepless; and soon the small birds’ melodies Must hear, first uttered from my orchard trees; And the first Cuckoo’s melancholy cry. Even thus last night, and two nights more, I lay, And could not win thee, Sleep! by any stealth: So do not let me wear to-night away: Without Thee what is all the morning’s wealth? Come, blessed barrier between day and day, Dear mother of fresh thoughts and joyous health!

Table 2

English Language Sonnets
	Composition	Rhyme Scheme	Pivot or Volta
Hendianne  21st Century West Indies	Example: “Birthday Wishes from the Cloud” Seven rhyming Couplets in iambic pentameter  proportioned as follows: opening couplet Sexain couplets Quatrain couplets Ending Couplet	aaaabbbbccdddd	Unravels at Quatrain couplets
Miltonic 17th Century England	Example: “Milton Sonnet 19” An enjambment Quatorzain in iambic pentameter	abbaabbacdecde	Slowly after Verse 8
Petrarchan Sonnet, 14th Century Italy	Example: “Petrarchan Sonnet 159” Octave (8 verses), Question Sexain (6 verses) and resolution	abbaabbacdedcd	Unravels slowly between octave and sexain
Shakespearean late 16th Century and early 17th Century England	Example: “Sonnet 1” Three quatrains and an ending couplet which provides the resolution to the problem in iambic pentameter.	abacdedefgfghh	Deep into sonnet after the second quatrain arrives
Spenserian Mid 16th Century England	Example: “One day I wrote her name upon the strand” Three quatrains and one couplet in iambic pentameter with interlocking rhyme scheme closed by a couplet in iambic pentameter.	ababbcbccdcdee	Slowly and logically sometimes after the second quatrain
Wordsworth 19th Century England	Example: Sonnet XXVI – To Sleep A quatorzain catalogue poem of sorts *A catalogue poem’s simplicity is used to teach children how to write a poem, using repetition and variation in listing objects, ideas, people or places.	abbaabbacdcdcd	Arrives at the last verse